I happen to know a guy called Saravanan. He is a farmer basically, and manages my partner’s organic farming business. He comes to my office once in a while, and we chat about this and that. Down to earth things ofcourse, no hi-tech stuff. He has studied upto the 12th grade, and turned to farming. Knows a bit of computers too. A jolly kid, but speaks too much. Blabbers about this and that, but is sincere in his work. A nice guy to meet once in a while.

He has got a problem. To cover up for his extra expenses, he was misfortunate enough to join Amway, the promisingly misleading Multi-national Multi-Level-Marketing company. They sell household consumables like soaps, cleaning solutions, food supplements, and hyper-orgasmic condoms for men and women.

This guy cant do a conversation without making a single mention of the word Amway and how it has turned labourers into millionaires. His aim is to buy a car by selling Amway’s useless products, which he thinks is possible.

I just think Amway is a fake company selling useless goods for 4 times its market price, giving hopes to people and misguiding them saying that they can make more money by selling soaps and condoms to their neighbours, than by doing any other business. And the whole world knows, that this sort of company, is for loosers. And when there are so many losers who want to develop a fake company such as Amway and get paid about 0.1% of the total profits of their efforts, the company will naturally grow.

I on the other hand, do the same with ubuntu. I manage a company called Indyahozting. I do a few other things related to computers too. And I eat real food rather than going for food supplements. So I fancy promoting ubuntu. Its not just that I fancy doing it. I am obsessed with ubuntu. And I cant do a conversation without mentioning ubuntu atleast 10 times thru it. And I hate Microsoft too. Now that I have found an alternative for Age of Empires too, which is open-source, I dont need wine any longer. Thats completely removed my pcs and the lappys.

So, last Saturday afternoon, when I was sitting at my office listening to music, this Saravanan came along, to bring up a post that he had received for me when I was away for lunch. Unfortunately it was a letter from Canonical Ltd. Saravanan asked me if the letter had something to do with Canon computer printers, or Canon cameras. I said no, and the company belongs to Mark Shuttleworth, the 2nd guy to visit space on a self funded trip. And this guy was the creator of ubuntu.

“How much are they paying you?” he asked me. “Is that your payout that you have just received?”

“What the Fuck? Fuckin payout for Fuckin What?” I asked.

“For your talking about ubuntu to everyone you meet?” He said. “Do the same for Amway, and I assure you that you will get more money than these people pay you.”

“Look here brother. This is Not a payout, and this letter will contain stuff that you will never understand in your next 7 lives. So piss off and go sell your Amway condoms to someone else.” I replied.

He sat down, and started talking about how 1 old man in his 70s now owns a car. Thanks to Amway.

Pathetic. I felt really miserable. Why has God put me amidst such a scum, who get easily cheated by these multinationals who want to make fools out of these people and get rich themselves, and make them fools to such an extent that they dont realize the passion that we put in while doing certain things. What to say.

He claims Amway is for him like what ubuntu is for me. Little does he realize that ubuntu is a free software, and comes with a complete multiverse full of free software for every requirement of any human possible. When he claims Amway does that too, I say that he was trained by Amway to talk this way to anyone. Telling Amway will make you grow, clear ur brain, wash your balls from the insides and balance your nutritions, it is all for money. And not just simple money, 3 or 4 times of its actual market price.

Anyways, arguing with a farmer is like Mud Wrestling with a Pig, and as you go on, you will find that you are getting dirtier, and that the pig is actually enjoying it.